“Mother!!!! My phone model is ancient, get me a new one!”
“Dad, Really????? That’s the car you want to be seen in???”
“Mum, you understand nothing!! If only you knew what it is like out there. What all we need to do to fit in…..”
“If I don’t want to go, I won’t go….and you can’t make me!!”
I could go on and on and on, listing endless examples of how children today think, speak and react to their surroundings, their parents and their lives. Things once considered a privilege are now expected.
The terms ‘Respect’ and ‘Discipline’ take a back seat to ‘Demands’ and ‘Birthright’.
What I am about to say will definitely make me sound like a specimen from the years gone by, but that’s a risk I am ready to take. When we were kids (yes, I can see the eyes roll of every single child reading this……more familiar and repetitive words have never been spoken), we were taught to listen and obey. When asked to do something by an adult, we got up and did it. Questioning the rationale behind the demand or arguing/ negotiating your acceptance were not even considered.
We also existed in society….a society made up of various strata of children (we weren’t exactly brought up in the dark or middle ages…..no matter how much our children would love to believe that), we also had our demands or had our heart set on a lot of frivolous luxuries (we thought we would just DIE if we weren’t given the latest Phillips Walkman or the complete collection of designer car models)……but were all our demands met? Were all our temper tantrums heeded and solved with a mountain of all our wishes fulfilled?? We were taught to sit upright, eat what was put in front of us, permanently mind our P’s and Q’s, be polite and always….ALWAYS show respect! I can still hear my mother drilling it into me …”how you behave in public and society tells the world about your upbringing and what we as parents have taught you.”
Children today, sadly, look upon us and our outdated views on raising children with indignation, irritation, sometimes indulging condescension and mostly resignation. The era of obedience has fast been replaced with an era of argument/ back answering (under the guise of ‘free thinking’) and flamboyance (under the guise of peer acceptance and societal standing).
The days of respecting our elders are disappearing faster than we can blink. In today’s casual world, everyone is treated equally and casually. What starts off as friendly banter quickly converts into disrespect and (for want of a better word) outright cockiness. Gadgets and other luxury items are demanded and then looked after casually, not earned and valued. Gone are the days of “Please may I have……”, fast to be replaced by “I want one of this and I needed it yesterday….”
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that today the jungle rules….. NO, it doesn’t! We as parents still try to maintain discipline, imbibe values in our children, create a balance between wants, demands, necessities and indulgences. But, to what extent are we succeeding? A parent that gives in to her children is considered to be spoiling them and a parent who tries to be stern and a bit stingy with indulgences, a tyrant ….unsuitable to be a parent in today’s day. So, where do we draw the line?
At what point do we stop and say, “OK, enough! This is where I draw the line and stand firm….” Where do we find that fine line that makes everyone coexist, with children content in their fulfilled demands, parents happy with their restricted indulgences leading to appreciation and society satisfied with the upbringing and discipline they are faced with?
I guess what I am trying to say is ……How much is too much, and how little is too little??? Where have those days of clarity and straight shooting solutions gone? In our need to encourage free thinking and confidence amongst our children, have we, as parents gone too far and ended up with a future generation of ‘survival of the fittest, brashest, loudest and most demanding’?
Do we need to up the discipline quotient and instill values of obedience, respect and manners in our children or do we just indulge them, telling ourselves that our time was different and that today’s day demands children to be the way that they are…..
Happy Parenting with Budding Star…
- PREGNANCY…. IF, WHEN AND WHY!!! - July 11, 2017
- THE CHANGING FACE OF DISCIPLINE! - May 19, 2017
