From last six years I am in a roller coaster ride of being a working mom and a SAHM. There has always been a debate between the two. I have personally experienced both the sides and can relate to both of them. Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, it’s challenging. To be honest, I can’t relate to the term ‘SAHM’ because you just don’t stay at home and do nothing. You stay at home and work from the dawn to dusk.
During the time when I was working in 9 to 5 slot, I found it hard but I managed and enjoyed both the house and work. I realized I was a better person when I am occupied with some productive work to do. Then, by my choice I left my job to be a homemaker. The transition was a bumpy ride.
For few months I was busy in setting up my home again with my man in uniform, exploring new city, enjoying my tea in the woods. Then one day, honeymoon was over. After hectic morning schedule, sending off kids to their schools, I started spending most of my time in front of the screens either it was TV or my Smartphone. Hours would go by and I would get up only for cooking and doing essential household work. As a result at the end of the day I would feel like most useless, irritated and frustrated woman in the world. I had everything I wanted yet I was not happy.
I know many mothers who are perfect homemakers, their kids are perfect, their house is always spic and span and most importantly, they are content and happy. I tried to be that woman but I couldn’t. I wanted more but was not sure of what and how. After one more episode of unwanted shouting at my adorable kids, I went for a walk to clear my head and then I decided to act upon it. I wanted myself back. I wanted my kids to have a happy mother not the one who is shouting at them every minute. I wanted my man in uniform to have a happy wife on whom he is always proud of.
When you are a homemaker then usually people say that all the time is yours then why do you want “ME TIME”. But the truth is that, despite being at home, we don’t get time for ourselves. All the time goes in kitchen and household chores. Make a schedule, take out some time to do the things which you love and follow it religiously. It can be anything simple from reading newspaper to painting.
I learned it late but realized it eventually. There were days when I used to stay in same set of clothes, uncombed hairs tied in bun for days. Whole day would pass by in taking care of kids and home until the day I looked hard in the mirror at the person who was not me. I was lost in motherhood. I decided to get myself back. Now I make sure to get ready before the kids are off to school. This simple thing gives my day a good start. 30 minutes of exercise or walk will boost your morale like no other.
We should understand the fact that kids are not going to be around us all the time. They will grow up and have a life of their own. You will be a mother always but be prepared for the empty nest which will happen sooner or later. Nurture a hobby or learn a new skill which you always wanted to. I have this thing very clear in my mind that I am not going to be a SAHM all my life. I’ll be back to my career one day. To keep my brain at work I started reading books, painting, writing or trying my hand at baking. This way my brain is always at work in a positive and constructive way.
This is the thing in which we need to do lots of practice. Comparing our life with another person’s is something I think we Indians are born with. We start by comparing birth weight and stop only after death. We need to understand that every one’s life is running on different trajectory. Count your blessings and thank God for them. Live in present moment. Enjoy the uncalled hugs and kisses which your kids shower on you. These hugs and kisses will go when they grow up.
We all love our kids and when a working mother makes a decision to be SAHM then support her, respect her for that. It takes courage to leave one thing you love doing for another love of your life. The choice is never easy. For every mother the thought of leaving their kids at day care or with the maids to go to work is devastating yet they do it because they know that when their kids will grow up they’ll be proud of her and above all not losing yourself to motherhood makes you a better mother and a better person.
These are few tips which helped me to stay happy and motivated person. What are yours? Do let us know by dropping them in comments.
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A simple, down to earth person whose life perspective changed totally after being a mum. Getting back to career after 5 years of break and i m completely loving it. I love to read, write and paint in whatever free time I get.